To Fluff, or Not to Fluff?

Disclaimer to the following statement: This post is written by a twenty-year-old female who is a AA-cup and shows no sign of further development.

In regards to whether a padded bra is worth the bother, I respond, "Fluff!"

Disclaimer for the above: This is for when you're old enough that you may be expected to wear one. NOT when you're seven and too young to know what a bra even is. (ahem, Hot Topic).

The first time I was asked anything bra-related, I was eleven. Now, I was only very very slightly developed; as I recall, I was starting to get hips, and I was in the middle of a growth spurt, but I wouldn't menstruate until the next year. The classmate (who happened to be that year's bully) asked me why I wasn't wearing a bra. I guess she noticed that I was cold, or something…? Perhaps she was just being mean. The only reason she wore a bra was because she was overweight...

Recently, however, I have been asked on a couple different occasions why I even bother with a bra at all. It's pretty obvious that I don't actually need one.

Now, I'm certain many girls would love to be in my position – I get to save potentially hundreds of lifetime dollars by not buying bras (until I become a mom, anyway), and I could go totally commando under my shirt if I really wanted to.

Still, I kinda feel like I missed out on an important rite of passage into womanhood.

I know that's fallacious to say. Whether I need to wear a bra or not does not determine my femininity.

But you know what? Sometimes a girl just really wants to get some pretty undergarments. My problem is it's so difficult to find such creatures in my size, without seeking out a special (expensive) boutique

Them's the breaks.

–

I do not mind having a small bust in and of itself. It's easy for me to do rigorous exercise, and it's a nice thought that any guy who looks at me twice isn't just bugging his eyes out at my chest.

But, I feel like I look a little disproportionate, sometimes. I have a little torso, but my limbs are rather fleshy by comparison. If I wear a loose enough shirt and no padding, and you ignore the hips, I look no different from a guy.

–

Last summer, I finally caved and walked into a Victoria's Secret, just to see what was what. I was tired of overheating in my shelf-bra'd camisoles that I wore underneath my shirts, and figured the expense might be worth it if I could only find something that fit. I got measured, and ushered into a fitting room with a box of different styles. I found one that was pretty, and fit reasonably well. I bought one of that style, and one of another style that I found and liked. I walked out of the store reasonably pleased (though I still wish bras didn't have to cost so much).

Annnnd now I've lost weight since buying them, and so I don't fill them quite right anymore. Bummer. But I'm still wearing them because the weather's warming up again, and I spent too much money on them to stop wearing them after less than a year.

–

I'm never going to be a Victoria's Secret model, and I don't want to be one. I'm probably never even going to get halfway there, anyway. And that's okay.

Am I going to lament now and then that I don't fill a certain pretty shirt or dress the right way? Yes. Am I still going to wish a really cute trend (or a trend made cute) would just work on my body? Absolutely; I'm not alone in that (I don't think skinny jeans are ever going to look good on me).

Wearing a padded bra is just another safety blanket to help me feel a little better about my appearance in a world where the ideals are impossible to achieve anyway. I cringe to admit that, when I have been making so much progress in the past year toward totally accepting myself, including what I look like. It is the truth, though. It's an insecurity that I've had since my female classmates left me far behind, and I don't know if/when it might go away. Just like other girls are insecure about their tummy, or their thighs, or their nose.

So I'm gonna call back to a previous post and say: You. Are. Beautiful.

Because you are His.

And nothing can change that.

And no one has any authority to tell you otherwise.

My appearance is my own.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

~Sarah