Monday, January 2, 2012

If I Were the Type to Make Resolutions...

Original Posting: January 2012

They would be as follows:

1 – Turn "Why bother?" into "Why not?"
A half-resolution I made last year was to stop putting things off until later – what was stopping me from going on a road trip (does Olympia to Portland count?), going to a live concert (Josh Groban!), learning how to do something new (knitting) right now?

This phrasing, I think, is more applicable to how I tend to approach things. I tend to not even try for certain things because I don't believe they will go anywhere – I won't be accepted to go on the JCET tour to Japan next summer (um, guess who's going to Japan for two weeks this May?!), I won't receive that scholarship, I'm not going to be picked for an interview much less for the job, he's too cute to be single. There's some persistent feeling of inadequacy that I haven't been able to grow out of, and it stops me before I even start.

I don't like asking "What have I got to lose?" when the answer is "A piece of my dignity/self-esteem." Which leads into...

2 – Learn to forgive myself for my mistakes and leave them behind me for good.
The transition to a new year is a good time to wipe everything off the board and give it a good wash. There are things I've done that I've struggled to make peace with myself about for one reason or another. Self-harm, the lies that came with it, my ex-boyfriend and all the secondary mistakes I made while I was dating him. Any time I've broken a promise and let someone down, including myself.

Not anymore. The person who made those mistakes does not exist anymore. And even if she did, she would be every bit as Forgiven as I am. It is time to finally put it all in the past where it belongs, and move on.

3 – Learn to listen to myself, and keep in touch with my emotions.
I've gotten a lot better at this in the past couple of months, but it needs to become a failsafe habit. Because I have slipped up a couple of times this break by going for the sugar when I should have asked myself why I was so frustrated at my brother and to a lesser extent my mother. Instead of taking out that frustration on eating candy (although, it was chocolate-covered fruit-flavored pieces – can you really blame me?), I should have asked what had me so irritated, why it irritated me, and what I could do about it. Since I don't have a job, much less a place I could move into, there isn't much I can do about my living situation or what food is actually in the house. And no matter how much sugar is in the house I always have the choice to resist, no matter how tempting it is. My brother is pretty much the way he is; any attempt I can make to change him is almost guaranteed to end badly for me, because he has a habit of running to hide behind Mom. Any attempt I've made in the past to get Mom to buy less candy (specifically for me, as in Easter baskets) hasn't been received well.

So it's all on me to deal with the issue, and the solution is very simple; just don't touch the junk. Yeah, it doesn't get me anywhere. But giving in to temptation doesn't get me anywhere productive, either; it only gives me a rush-and-crash followed by guilt and paranoia about fat gain. Obviously, this isn't an anxiety that I need.

4 – Get toned!
Since I'm an American, and a woman, I suppose it's practically obligatory that I put some image-related resolution here.

I'm well aware that I'm relatively skinny already. Granted, I've probably gained a few pounds since being home, but that's beside the point. I'm making no weight-related resolutions – I'm making a body composition-related resolution!

I can build strength, but I've never noticed that I can develop muscular definition. Perhaps I've managed to become slim enough now that any muscle built from this point will actually show up, but eh... We'll see how I manage with my PE class this semester... And if that turns out to feel inadequate, a friend at college has volunteered his triple-blackbelt services to whip me into shape no problem, else I die trying.

5 – Somehow, in some order – Read the Bible.
I've been picking and choosing random books/chapters to read all break, and that's all well and good. But I really would like to at least read through the whole Bible this year. I can't guarantee that I'll get everything out of it that there is to get out of it – and you're not supposed to get everything in the Bible at the first pass, anyway. It's a Living text; its meaning changes with time and with your circumstances. Song of Songs only meant anything to me last time I read it because I was trying to figure out what makes a woman beautiful. The past times I'd looked through it, it'd had very little meaning to me.

And in all things as much as possible, keep it simple.
~Sarah

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